Wilkommen Im Hotel Rachel
by Firefly Conlon
Summary: Wishes don't come true, it's a silly kid thing. Or so Rachel, Anna, and I thought. Until Bill and Tom Kaulitz show up on our porch at 3am! Now it's up to us, 3 crazed fangirls, to get them back to their manager. Maybe we'll have a couple adventures first
1. It's Raining Kaulitzs!

**Random little story I thought of. It's a little bit of a memoir at the beginning, but then turns into something absolutely crazy! :) No twincest, no band/OC. Just Kaulitz-licious-ness. Also, do you recognize the song I got the title from? Yeah, the BEST FLIPPING TH SONG EVER! "Reden". **

**Disclaimer: The only thing I own are two albums. Sooo...yeah. **

**Rachel: Love ya darling! BILL FOREVAH!**

**R&R!**

* * *

"Isn't he super _hawt_?" my friend Rachel asked, leaning over to kiss the poster.

"Ewww, no way!" Anna crinkled her noise disdainfully, "He looks like a woman!"

"He does not!" I said, smacking Anna from my place on the floor next to her.

"Thank you, Jane," Rachel said. She was sitting on her bed, leaning against her wall, which was plastered in posters of one specific singer: Bill Kaulitz. Anna and I were on the floor, in our sleeping bags, playing a random card game. Rachel grabbed her hairbrush, and cranked her music. She jumped around on the bed, while I stood and did some head-banging.

"_Hallo, Du stehst in meinder Tür.  
Es ist sonst niemand hier, ausser Dir und mir.  
Okay, Komm doch erstmal rein, _

_der Rest geht von allein.  
In Zimmer 483._

_Hier drinnen, ist niemals richtig Tag.  
Das Licht kommt aus der Minibar.  
Und morgens wirds hier auch nicht hell,  
Wilkommen im Hotel._

_Wir wollten nur reden,  
Und jetzt liegst du hier.  
Und ich lieg daneben, Reden, Reden."_

"I love this song!" I shouted over the music. Bill sang loudly from the stereo as we danced around, shrieking the lyrics.

Rachel's parents were out of town, and they trusted the three of us not to kill or kidnap anyone in their absence. We _were_ sixteen after all.

"I have an amazing idea!" Rachel squealed. "Jane, lay upside down on my bed...Anna go get every can of hairspray you can find! And open a window!" Nervously, I followed her instructions. When Anna returned with the hairspray, Rachel attacked my blond hair rabidly.

"Alright, that's enough," Anna coughed, yanking the window open. "She looks just like the poster!" I sat up, and trotted to Rachel's vanity. My once flat-as-a-board hair stood on end, just like Bill Kaulitz's! I grabbed the black eyeliner and added some of it to my face, followed by gray eyeshadow and mascara. I could hear Anna attacking Rachel with the hairspray behind me. After Rachel and I were turned into 16 year old Bill-itas, we got down to straightening Anna's frizzy brown hair.

"Georg?" I asked, Rachel nodded. Anna looked worried as we straightened and sprayed until she had a sheet of glossy brown hair. She kind of looked like the female version of the base player, Georg.

"Let's go outside and take pictures under our porch light!" Rachel suggested. Anna and I jumped up, grabbing leather jackets with faux fur linings.

Once outside on Rachel's expansive deck, we struck random poses under our 'spotlight' while the other two members of the 'band' took pictures. We all wore really random costumes, black skinny jeans, black boots, leather, and white "TOKIO HOTEL" concert t-shirts.

"Look a shooting star!" I shrieked, pointing upwards. Streaks of white and blue scattered across the sky. "A meteor shower."

"I wish I could meet Tom Kaulitz!" Anna sighed. (HA! I _knew _she thought he was hot!)

"I wish I could meet Bill Kaulitz!" Rachel and I said in tandem. We laughed at each other, before stumbling upstairs to go to bed...or drink more soda. We chose the latter.

We talked and listened to music until around 2am...then we heard the obnoxious ringing of the doorbell.

"Who could that be?" I yawned.

"I have no idea," Anna sighed.

"Do you think..." Rachel trailed off. We looked at each other wide-eyed, before sprinting down the stairs. We composed ourselves before opening the door. _No one was there._

"We just fell for a ding-dong-ditch," Rachel complained, stomping her foot like an angered child.

"Yeah, majorly...and we thought it was a German pop band too," I said, before snickering. Rachel giggled, then Anna joined, soon we were rolling around in front of the open door. Rachel stood, wiped the tears from her eyes, and closed the door. We had taken only four steps back towards her room, when we heard the doorbell ring a second time.

"I'm not falling for it again," Rachel said, crossing her arms.

"Me neither," Anna said, copying Rachel's actions.

"Alright," I turned to take another step towards Rachel's room, when I heard someone speaking on the other side of the door.

"_Ist jemand zu Hause?"_ one voice asked. (_Is anyone home)_

"_Englisch sprechen, dumm_," a second one snapped. (_Speak English, stupid)_

"Right, is anyone home?" the voice called. Three sets of jaws dropped as we raced back and flung open the door. Rachel and I swayed on our feet. One of the two dark figures stepped forward to steady me.

_"_We're a little lost," he confessed. Anna, Rachel, and I stood dumbstruck.

"I didn't think the cosplay extravaganza was until next Saturday," I whispered to Anna.

"It's not," Rachel said, "I have tickets."

"Then that means..." we turned to face the two nervous popstars.

"Are you really Bill and Tom?" Anna asked. They looked at each other and nodded. Rachel passed out.


	2. Danke

**I'm memorizing "Monsoon" and trying to at least learn the _chorus_ of "Reden" in German. Soooo...YAY! Next chapter...friends find out about Tokio Hotel! And...I used the 19 year old versions of Bill and Tom because I don't like Bill's new hair. (Personally, the Lion's Mane fit him WAY BETTER).**

**Rachel: I hope you like your awesome tackle hug...and I totally think Tommi would flirt with Anna. Don't you?**

* * *

Rachel's eyes fluttered a bit before opening. We had Tom and Bill (The people who _claimed _to be Tom and Bill) in the kitchen, twiddling their thumbs nervously. They looked pretty lost for nineteen year old rock stars.

"Rachel?" I inquired. She shook her head to clear it, before mumbling something unintelligible. "What are you saying?"

"I had this weird dream about Bill and Tom Kaulitz showing up at my house," she said, sitting up and looking around.

"Well, there are two freakishly cute guys that _look _an awful lot like the real Bill and Tom sitting in your kitchen." Anna said.

"Really? Cosplayers or not, I wanna hug," Rachel bounced off the couch and ran for her kitchen. Bill was munching on the raspberries that Anna had left out for them. Tom was speaking in rapid German and playing air guitar. When they saw us enter, they looked up. Bill sprang to his feet.

"Please. Someone tell me were we are!" he said. Rachel giggled, before giving him a very bighug.

"My house! Wilkommen im hotel Rachel!" she sang out the lyrics of _Reden._ Tom shook his head, extremely confused.

"Die kurze ist so süß! ," Tom said, nodding at Anna. Anna, Rachel and I squinted. Bill shook his head and smacked his brother's arm. (_You're really cute) _

"Do any of you speak German?" Bill asked.

"No," I said bluntly. "This is Northern Michigan, why would we speak German?"

"Hey! I'm taking German!" Rachel pouted.

"Only so you can understand their lyrics," I threw my arm out, motioning to the boys. (And nearly cloths-lining poor Billa)

"So?" she blushed. Tom was checking Anna out, the pervert. He's like…three years older than us!

"Alright, so we'll speak in English," Bill mumbled mostly to himself.

"Where is the nearest phone?" Tom inquired. Anna's face fell.

"But you just _got here!" _she complained. Tom smiled, clearly his flirting had worked.

"We could always stay for a little while. Where are your parents?" he asked. Bill ran a hand through his large lion's mane, and I reached up to pet mine. It was then that he noticed, three of us matched, and his childish eyes widened.

"My parents are out of town for a week," Rachel explained. Distracted, Bill looked Rachel and I up and down, and Tom looked Anna up and down.

"Why are you dressed up like me?" Bill directed his question to Rachel and I.

"Because I was kissing your poster, and had this amazing photo shoot idea!" Rachel squealed, then blushed. Bill just shook his head, laughing.

"Can I touch your hair?" I asked. He nodded. Without needing further invitation, Rachel and I burst into laughter and rabidly began petting Bill Kaulitz's large hair. Anna joined in, and then we attacked Tom's dreadlocks.

"Wow, wirklich Entzückend," Tom said. (_You're adorable_)

"In English please," Bill said, face-palming.

"What did he say?" Anna asked.

"You're all adorable. He's a flirt," Bill sighed, "How old are you girls anyway?"

"Sixteen," we all answered at the same time. Tom smiled that weird smile again, Bill just shook his head 'no'.

"Awhile ago, you said Northern Michigan...why?" Tom asked.

"That's where we _are_ silly," Anna simpered.

"Really? Holy crap we're hallucinating!" Tom jumped to his feet and dashed outside. It was mid-June and warm. Thinking of that, I slid out of my leather Bill-jacket adjusted my _Tokio Hotel_ arm bands.

"How did we get from New York to Michigan? Where is Michigan?" Bill was clear-headed, surprisingly. I expected him to be more...ditzy.

"TC" Rachel pumped her fist in the air. "Wanna use my phone?"

"In the morning," Bill said, rubbing his temples. "Where can we stay tonight?"

"There's a guest room in my basement," Rachel offered. Tom stumbled back in, completely confused.

"Sounds good," Bill said, grabbing his brother and dragging him out of the kitchen and to the basement door. "We'll be downstairs."

"Rachel's room is just up the stairs," I offered. Bill nodded gratefully.

"Wait," he turned around again, his hair bouncing, "What are your names?"

"I'm Jane," I pointed to myself, "That's Rachel and Anna."

"Thank you very much girls," Tom smirked, before being yanked down the stairs after his brother. _Tom's baggy clothes might be alright to sleep in, but Tom's skinny jeans and sequined shirt are probably uncomfortable! _I ran to the laundry, grabbing some of Rachel's older brother's pajamas (He was at a friends for the week) and tossed them down the stairway.

"PAJAMAS!" I yelled.

"DANKE!" Bill and Tom yelled back. I smiled at their hot-twin-simlutantiousness

"Good thinking," Anna tossed a raspberry in her mouth before shoving the container back into the refrigerator.

"Thanks, I figured that leather would be uncomfortable to sleep in," I grimaced. Bill wore some of the strangest clothes.

"We need to call their manager," I said, leaning my chin on my hand. Anna and Rachel nodded sadly.

"Like Bill said," I added, "In the morning."

The three of us dragged our tired bodies up the stairs, and crashed into our sleeping bags, _Rette Mich _playing quietly from the stereo.


	3. Hot Topic and You're Evil

**Yes, this is basically a continuous crackfic that I enjoy writing! Daddy's Little Prinzessin is MUCH better! This is my _worst _writing. **

**Disclaimer: *Heavy sarcasm* I'm at a Tokio Hotel VIP party, dancing with Bill RIGHT NOW. (Actually I'm listening to World Behind My Wall and singing along poorly)**

**Paul, I'm sorry we always kill you...so I let you live this time! :) ^_^ **

**(Examples of Paul Dying: Stubborn in _The Lodging House_, Ageny Luap in HandprintontheWall's _Creation of Death, _LeutenantJames Scott in NCIS13's _FrameUp) _ **

* * *

My cellphone began screaming "READY SET GO! READY SET GO!" I groaned and slapped my hand down over the speaker. I read the text message **New shpmnt of TH stuf, hury. -COLE**

"Wake up guys! Cole has a new shipment for us!" I shouted, waking my two friends from their sleep.

"Ugh, we were up until like...four am last night! You could have let us sleep in!" Rachel protested. I looked over at the digital clock, it read: 1:00pm.

"It's one o'clock! Come, on we have to go to Hot Topic," I whined as I pulled Anna out of her sleeping bag. As soon as I said "Hot Topic" Rachel perked up.

"Did Cole send you a text?" she asked, jumping up to find her clothes. I nodded. Cole was our friend who worked at the local Hot Topic in our mall. Whenever a new shipment of Tokio Hotel merchandise came in, he would let us know and save two of everything for us. Anna, Rachel, and I raced to get dressed and do our makeup.

"I had the weirdest dream last night," I laughed as I combed out my flattened 'Bill-do'.

"I did too, something about Bill and Tom showing up!" Anna giggled. "Tom was hot."

"Wait...that's the dream I had," I looked over to Rachel, who looked down at Anna, who looked up at me.

"Jane, you don't think..." Rachel trailed off.

Without saying another word, I dashed down the stairs and into the kitchen. Bill was making a vegetarian omelet big enough to feed a circus; while Tom was pouring out four cups of OJ. (Orange Juice...not the singer/rapper dude)

"We made breakfast for you," Bill said in his German accent. My eyes bugged out and I let out a small squeak. Rachel and Anna stormed in behind me, their eyes as wide as dinner plates.

"Thanks," Anna smiled, recovering from her initial shock and winking at Tom. I slapped her arm.

"You have a boyfriend!" I chided. Anna blushed as Tom looked down heartened.

"Speaking of which, we need to call Paul, James, and Arron and get them over here!" Anna said. Tom frowned and Bill gave a happy cheer.

"Thanks for breakfast though, it was really thoughtful of you," I said.

"No problem Jane," Bill said, "We wouldn't want to be bothers!"

**Get ur butts ovr here, ASAP! **I texted Paul, James and Arron. After eating a delicious breakfast made by German rock stars (OMG I'M STILL FREAKING OUT HERE!) there was a knock at the door. I threw it open and pulled in the three familiar boys.

"What's so important that our butts had to be over _here_?" Paul smirked. I just rolled my eyes.

"Remember that German band Rachel and I are obsessed with?" I asked.

"Tokio Motel?" Arron guessed.

"_Hotel, _Arron Tokio _Hotel,_" I stressed, "And yeah them."

"What about them?" Asked James. "Where's Rachel?"

"Your girlfriend is entertaining two musicians in her kitchen," I said, "Tom and Bill Kaulitz are in the FREAKING KITCHEN!"

"Wow, what did you guys eat at the party last night?" Paul laughed. I angrily grabbed his wrist and yanked him into the house, and stalking to the adjoining room. His mouth opened wide when he spotted the two familiar faces. (Most of my notebooks were covered in pictures of the Kaulitz twins and the Tokio Hotel logo)

"See?" I asked, smirking myself.

"Whoa," Arron and James muttered simultaneously when they walked in. Bill waved and Tom nodded, his dreadlocks waving. "Awesome."

"Yeah, and we need to get them to the mall!" Rachel burst.

"Hot Topic shipment?" Paul asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest. I nodded, Paul was aware of our routine Tokio-Hotel-mall-crawl.

"Yes! And we need to disguise the boys," I sighed. "Bill only has his weird performance costume thingy, Tom's clothes look pretty normal."

"Good point," Tom said, speaking for the first time. Then he turned and stuck his tongue out at Bill, "That's what you get for being the freak of the family."

"Would any of you girls happen to be a size nine in skinny jeans?" Bill asked. Rachel ran up the stairs. "Where is Rachel going?" Bill asked. When he said her name in his accent, it sounded like "Ritzel".

"Upstairs to get some of her brother's clothes," I waved my arm in that general direction. "Do you need to use the bathroom? We have eyeliner."

"That would be schön!" Bill exclaimed. Then he blushed. "Nice. It would be nice. I forgot you don't speak in fluent German."

"Weird. What kind of dude wears eyeliner?" Paul muttered under his breath. I smacked his arm.

"Make fun of Billa, and I'll pull your underwear up so freakin' high they'll need to be surgically removed," I snarled. Bill walked across the room to give me a high-five. Paul glared, so I leaned over and hugged him. He relaxed a bit after that.

"Alright, Bill and Tom, go with Jane. She will make you blend in," Anna instructed.

"Blend in?" Tom asked, standing up anyway.

"She's a makeup artist," Arron shrugged. I grabbed one arm of each star and took them both upstairs.

"Bill, you'll take longer, so you can go last," I said. Tom sat on the closed toilet lid while I pulled his dreadlocks under a baseball hat so they stuck out the hole in the back. (Kind of like a demented ponytail with dreads...interesting style) "Done."

"I'll send in Bill," Tom left. Bill came in and sat on the vacated toilet. I gave him trace amounts of eyeliner and straightened his hair. I handed him a black Tokio Hotel beanie (oh, the irony) and shades.

"You'll be the most recognizable, but don't expect to be mobbed. TC is a small city with only a few extreme Tokio Hotel fans," I said, turning to do my own makeup.

"Can I do your makeup?" Bill asked. I nodded and relinquished my eyeliner to him. He lined them lightly, and did a sort of younger-more-innocent-smoky-eye effect. I looked _amazing. _He pulled my hair up, accenting it with a red bow over the back of the ponytail. (Matching my red _Zimmer 483_ concert t-shirt)

"Alright, lets get you into the car and to the mall!" I grabbed Bill's wrist and dragged him to Rachel's brother's room, where his outfit for the day was sitting on the bed. Black skinnies, an ACDC t-shirt, and a pair of black converse. Bill thanked me as I left the room so he could change.

Downstairs, Tom had changed and was talking with Arron about some rapper I didn't recognize.

"So you're dating Anna?" Tom asked Arron. Arron leaned down to kiss his girlfriend on the forehead tenderly.

"Yep. And I'm such a lucky guy, she's perfect!" Arron wrapped his arms around the short girl as she leaned back against his chest.

"Sie ist perfekt, ich bin eifersüchtig. Sie sind böse," Tom muttered quickly. (_She is perfect, I'm jealous. You're evil) _

„I have a feeling that wasn't a nice comment Tommi," I said, smacking Tom over the head.

„It wasn't," Tom smirked up at me.

„Very nice," I added. Bill and Rachel came back downstairs, Paul and James were already getting the car started for us.

„Come on, we HAVE TO GET TO THE MALL!" I called. Everyone piled into the minivan. Anna and Arron took a different car. When Rachel turned on the radio, we heard Bill singing. He joined the track with his _real _voice, and Tom started doing the air-guitar.

„DURCH DEN MONSUN!" I sang off-key. Rachel and I sang along with Bill, who was sitting one seat behind me. I was in shotgun and Rachel was driving. We pulled into the Target parking lot, laughing like idiots and jamming to Tokio Hotel _with _Tokio Hotel...well...half of Tokio Hotel.

„To Hot Topic!" I said, and everyone piled back out of the car and into a mob. The eight of us headed for the entrance, and straight for our favorite store. Bill pulled on his beanie and left the glasses in the car. When we entered the store, my friend Cole was waiting at the counter with three t-shirts, two CDs, three armbands, and a coffee mug with Bill's face on it that read 'Future Mrs. Bill Kaultiz".

„We'll take everything," I handed Cole my Hot Topic member card and a wad of cash.

„Alrighty then ladies," Cole began scanning things. Bill and Tom wandered around and Paul and James left for the Gamestop next door. I rolled my eyes. Rachel and Anna each reached for their bag, Tom took Anna's for her and she blushed.

„Oh Cole, we would like to introduce you to..." I trailed off. „Rachel, can we trust Cole?"

„Of course!" Rachel said, leaning over the counter, „This is Bill and Tom."

„You guys are so funny," Cole slapped Rachel's arm playfully. Bill looked up from his post by the makeup and Tom wandered over from a rock shirt stand.

„I'm Tom Kaulitz," Tom offered his hand. Cole passed out, and we hurriedly left the store.


	4. Not Loose Enough

**HERE IS CHAPTER 4. Yeah, it's a TOTAL crackfic.**

**Disclaimer: I own not the boys that make up Tokio Hotel**

**Check out: random! tokio hotel stories**

* * *

"Shouldn't someone call their manager?" I sent a pointed look at the twins. They ignored me, happily slurping smoothies like there was no tomorrow. "Guys? _Guys?_ BILL AND TOM YOU LOOK AT ME RIGHT NOW!"

"Shhh," Tom slapped a cold hand over my mouth. "They'll hear you!"

"Well, I'll even use your _last _names if you don't pay attention," I snarled. Tom moved his hand away from my face.

"What did you say?" Bill asked, throwing away his empty smoothie cup.

"Shouldn't you guys call Jost?" I asked.

"I did this morning," Tom smirked confidently. "We have a show in Detroit in two days, and David said it would be okay if we stayed over another night. Georg and Gustav are on a plane to come over right now. They wanna hang out too, _if_ that's okay with you."

"It's fine with me!" Rachel burbled.

"How unbelievably ironic that this should happen only a few days before your Detroit show," I sighed.

"It's perfect!" Bill smiled, throwing an arm around my shoulder. Rachel and Anna were talking to the other three boys.

"Hey Pa-ool," I called. The short, black-haired boy turned and smiled over to me. "Come here."

"What's up?" he asked.

"I need you to take Bill and Tom to American Eagle and get them some _normal_ clothes. They'll be staying another night."

"Fine," Paul rolled his eyes before dragging the two boys along behind him.

"So, you two," I turned to my best girl friends. "Let's hit Bath and Body!"

"Okay, come on boys," Rachel grabbed James' hand and started for our favorite lip gloss store. We also liked their perfume, which we discovered, when mixed with Aeropostale boys brand cologne, made a scent much like Bill's German deodorant. We insisted on spraying our guy friends with this many times. We shopped to our girly hearts content, and got in line to check out.

"Hey, look, here comes Paul and the guys!" Anna said, pointing to the returning trio. Rachel and I paid for our supplies and followed Anna and Arron out of the store.

"They're so _tight_," Tom said, adjusting his belt for the fifth time.

"They're _pants_," Paul shrugged.

"I like mine," Bill looked down at his skinny jeans.

"Yeah, but you're used to wearing those kinds of jeans. I'm used to more _room_," Tom fidgeted. Anna and I laughed. Rachel just walked over and tugged them down a little. Tom sighed gratefully.

"Low-riding," she muttered.

"Much better," Tom hugged Rachel around the head. Anna pouted, Arron leaned down to kiss her.

"Alright, lets head home and set up a MOVIE NIGHT!" I pumped my fist in the air. The boys, seeing an excuse to kiss their girlfriends, high-fived. Bill and Tom shrugged and followed us out the door to our assorted vehicles. I took my friends, and stopped at a Family Video to grab some movies for the night.

"What should we watch?"

"Something scary!" Tom eclaimed.

"Something romantic," Anna sighed.

"Something funny!" Rachel insisted.

"So we need a scary-comedic-drama-romance?" Bill clarified. I nodded and began searching the shelves. Instead of finding one movie, we found two. Scary Movie (scary comedy) and The Tempest (dramatic romance). When we got back to Rachel's house, I took the five boys downstairs to set up the movie room and make more space for the two new arrivals. Anna and Rachel started to cook, Rice crispy treats, brownies, caramel popcorn...they were little chefs.

After about an hour of cleaning and setting up, twin shrieks could be heard as Gustav and Georg were engulfed by Rachel-fangirl-glomps._** (A/N: GLOMP: A tackle-hug) **_

"Was?" Georg asked in German. "Ich bin Georg!"

"No dip, Sherlock! What are you, stupid? They know who you are," Gustav whacked Georg upside the head and pointed to the Tokio Hotel poster above Rachel's door.

"Oh, yeah."

"Come on downstairs and meet our other friends! I take it that you brought clothes for the sleepover?" Anna dragged the drummer and bassist over to the stairwell. Rachel and I heard a car horn honk, and went outside to see who it was. David Jost stood outside a limousine.

"Are you Rachel and Jane?" he asked, "Bill mentioned you two on the phone."

"Yes we are," I affirmed.

"I would like to thank you girls for taking care of our gangster and diva," Jost gave a chuckle, "I hope they weren't too much trouble."

"No, they were great! They even helped around the house and made us breakfast!" Rachel grinned.

"Really? Our boys? Help?" Jost seemed surprised before giving another deep laugh. "As a return of kindness, you and your four friends get tickets and backstage passes to our concert in Detroit. We will also pay for your hotel room."

"That's way too much!" I insisted.

"No, you managed to A) not rip their clothes off, B) take care of them, and C) make sure no one _else _ripped their clothes off. When you have money to burn, this is a minor thing."

"Well, thank you sir!" I reached over and shook his hand. Rachel and I beamed, before running back into the house to watch the movies.


	5. Awwwwww

**The extensive crackfic is over. Darn. **

**PLEEZ READ Reincarnate**

* * *

"JANE!" Rachel shrieked. I bounced up off my sleeping bag.

"Are you excited?" I asked.

"For what?" Anna yawned.

"The concert tomorrow," I laughed. Rachel and Anna looked confused.

"The only thing we have tomorrow is dance class," Anna said.

"But what about that Tokio Hotel concert Jost invited us to?" I asked.

"You, my dear Jane, have crazy dreams."


End file.
